Did you get harmed at some point? Physically, emotionally, mentally? Was it an act of injustice? Was it beyond your control? Do you feel you deserve sympathy?
It doesn’t matter. And it doesn’t because it is a pure waste of time, both yours and everybody else’s, as long as you keep seeking attention, avoiding criticism, and inventing obstacles that prevent you from resolving the problem, now and forever.
It is called ‘Victim mentality’ and the good news is you were not born with it. You acquired it via one or more unfortunate events, and you developed it further due to your brain’s wrong calculations based on the wrong influences…. You see, your brain has the responsibility of making choices regarding your ideas, your body, and your moods, regardless of You, based on 1 criterion: what makes you Happier! When ‘happy’ is not available, it will settle for ‘Contentment’ (being satisfied with what you have, unwilling to pursue more, relatively happy). And it will certainly not give you orders for what is ‘Best’ for you, as it would diminish your levels of current and immediate satisfaction.
Recognizing that your abilities do not increase, scanning the ecosystem you find yourself functioning in, and making projection models for the ecosystems you intend to inhabit in the future, it decides that the best form of action for You is to attract sympathy and blame others, instead of claiming responsibility and becoming stronger.
Needless to say, if this becomes ‘chronic’ (if you keep going like this for too long), you will be beyond saving, since every time someone well-intended and well-informed will provide a solution, you will be eager to reject it. It is difficult to appreciate the riches one can reap by being an adult (despite all the hurdles and challenges) when you have seen how comfy life can be as everyone treats you like a baby during your adulthood… Of course, if you ask any 3 or 6-year-old if they prefer to remain babies or grow big, they will choose the latter without a moment’s hesitation. It is because they have not been hurt yet or faced with injustice like you had. They are full of strength and without fear, embracing improbability in all their endeavors, and willing to face new challenges. You see, so far they have been ‘winning’ the game of life…
It is only After we grow up that we (might) feel nostalgia for that very ‘baby’ era, when everybody cared, everybody catered, and even our little poo was a reason for celebration. Well, guess what: those days are over. You experienced losses, you had bad luck, you suffered because of others, and you made sure we got it. The question remains… are you interested in reversing those experiences, their impact in your way of thinking and in your life? Are you ready to depart from a universe of attribution, so that you can finally inhabit a world of contribution?
If so, think… The next blog post will provide the answer and the method. In the meantime, stop saying that the world owes you something, and assume responsibility for what you did, or didn’t do. Don’t blame yourself because it is the same wrong thing. Take responsibility, examine yourself, and find the answer soon. Otherwise, you will end up lonely and in despair like so many others, who (just like you) had no real reason to feel that way…